TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America. MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America? CLASS: Maria. TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?" GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L. TEACHER: No, that's wrong. GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I". MILLIE: I is... TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, "I am". MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand. TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to,my Mom is a good cook. TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog. TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher.

                                                               LOS  DELINCUENTES



                                         Dos delincuentes violan a unas monjitas
                                         una de ellas comenta:
                                         -Perdónalos señor, porque no saben 
                                         lo que hacen.
                                         La otra contesta:
                                         -Será el tuyo, porque el mío es un experto.       

                                                          PUTAS  EN  NAVIDAD


                                                        Le dice una puta a otra:
                                                   _¿Oye, y tu que le vas a pedir a los
                                                  reyes magos este año?
                                                          Y la otra le contesta:
                                                  _Lo mismo que a todos, 200 pesos 
                                                   

                                                                    MUJER  FLACA

                       
                                                        Esta era una mujer tan flaca
                                                        pero tan flaca,  que cuando
                                                        tosió  se hizo  un nudo
                                     

                                                                PIZZAS FAMILIARES


                                  Entra un hombre con dos mueres a una pizzeria
                                   y le dice al encargado:
                                  -hey tío...dame 3 pizzas
                                  Y el empleado le pregunta:
                                  -Familiares?
                                  Y el hombre responde:
                                  -No, son putas y tienen hambre.          

                                                                       LOS PEDOS


                              -Mamá, Mamá, ¿Los pedos pesan?
                              -No, hijo
                              -Ah, pues entonces me he cagado...